Your bride has a lot on her mind. This should not be news to you. So in all the chaos, I have compiled a very short list on a few things you can help her with. I encourage my grooms to get right into the whole process, but this is a list of the most popular things my guys like to take on themselves.

A steak, a steak…my kingdom for a steak!!!

Guys love food! Someone once said that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through is belly. So why not take this and make it yours. You can decide what cut of steak you’ll be having for dinner and not IF you’ll be having steak. Now this is a great one to do. Call the reception venue and have them send over the choices for the meals they are offering. If you see stuff you like but it’s paired with stuff you’re not crazy about, ask them if there is any “wiggle” room. You never know till you ask, so NEVER be afraid to ask. We had Caesar salad for one of our wedding appies, but I love tomatoes, cherry to be exact. So I had the chef drop a few cherry tomatoes onto the salads. See if you can mix and match items on the menu if that takes your fancy. And another great thing about this, TASTERS!!! Most venues will offer a tasting to help you make up your mind. So what you can do is make a date of it. Get dressed up and take your bride to be to the tasting (just make sure you have confirmed a date and time with HER so she’s available). The chef will usually let you pick a few appies, mains and deserts, and if you ask you can have wine paired with each course. So you have a nice dinner, some venues will do this for free, and you can take her out and NOT talk about the wedding…talk about the food!!!

Honeymoon Suite ain’t just a band

After the bouquet has been tossed, the garter has been passed on, the last song has been played and all the partying is done. When the last drunken guest has stumbled back to their rooms, it is time for you to go up to the Honeymoon Suite. Most people forget all about the Honeymoon Suite. But why should you? With our higher end packages we include décor in the suite for you and your bride to enjoy. Rose petals, music, maybe some mood lighting etc. The trick is not to tell her about this. If you don’t have a planner, get your best man to do this for you. She will melt. You can set up an iPOD on repeat to have her favorite song playing as you arrive into the room, (but you need to remember to take it off repeat) Include some fragrances, but not too strong…you don’t want her sneezing all night. And to take it a step further…why not make all the plans for the Honeymoon itself? Sure, get her opinion on what she wants to do. But you take care of the details. If you have a planner, they can help you with locations, flights and travel agents. So while it looks like you did allot of work, all you really need to do is call your planner with dates etc and they can make the arrangements. Firefly Occasions & Gutsy Groom has a travel agent on staff for just this reason. We also offer our Vegas Condo to our couples.

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Play that funky music!!!

Music can make or break ANY event. Don’t let it break yours!!! A DJ or band is very important to an event. We all have opinions on music, what the first song should be and songs that, under no circumstances should ever be played at a wedding again. Chicken Dance…I’m looking in your direction. So after you have again gotten her opinion, you really need to pick out your first dance together. Take over the process. Grab the Yellow Pages, or your Google page and start looking for people in your area. Make sure you interview them. As I’m sure I have mentioned, I fired 3 DJ’s before I settled on the guy who did my wedding. Now he is my #1 recommended DJ for ALL my weddings. He did the Fernie wedding last year and was packing up his gear at 1am to screams of “ONE MORE SONG, ONE MORE SONG!!!” If you’re looking into a band, get them to send you a demo disc or something. Even better, if they are local and have a gig, take your fiancé out for a nice concert and see what she thinks. It’s not stressful coz it’s a cool night out. The same with DJ’s, get references from past clients, make sure they have a web site, see what lighting they offer and if travel fees are included or extra. Choose carefully on this one guys, if a DJ can’t read a crowd, you’re screwed.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Make sure that you help your bride out in the planning process. If, for no other than selfish reasons. A happy bride makes for a happy wedding and very happy wedding night. Plus it’ll really cut down on tension or possible arguments during the planning process. I mean, come on…the 3 things listed above really aren’t that tough to get a handle on and they can be fun to do as well. There are many, many other things you can get your hand into, but these, as I said earlier are the top 3 my grooms usually get the most involved in.

A marriage is a partnership, so is the time leading up to the wedding. So take some responsibility, hey, you asked her to marry you right!??!!? You can’t just pop the question, then sit back and say…OK I did my part, off you go. Not cool at all. Plus if you get involved, you’ll get your thoughts into the process as well. I always tell our couples that the wedding should be a mesh of both their personalities, and I stand by that. So get involved fellas. Sometimes it even turns out to be fun!

Simon Daykin is Firefly Occasions’ Atmospheric Designer and Groom Stylist. Couples looking for rare, unmatched decor turn to Simon for their wedding design needs. Simon is part of the husband and wife wedding planning team, Firefly Occasions Inc. Visit his website to sign up for his free report, “5 Smoking Styles for Gutsy Grooms.”

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A few months back I was having drinks with a friend of my sister in law who was getting married, being the music snob that I am, I had to ask what DJ he had hired. He replied that he was using his I-pod hooked into the venue system. He said he had a great play list picked out and he didn’t think he needed a DJ. Of course, I warned him about this. So last weekend I ran into him at the aforementioned Sister in law’s housewarming party…I asked him how it went and he said people hated it, his taste wasn’t in line with all the guests and people weren’t dancing. Sure I-pods are cool and all, but it’s called a personal MP3 player for a reason. It’s your taste and your music. I highly recommend getting a DJ, they can read the crowd and change up the music as needed. Even if you need to trim your budget in other areas to get the DJ, go for it, if no one dances, they will remember that your party kinda sucked. And you don’t want that!