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Don’t Give The Wrong Thing:
Valentines Day Gifts Decoded For Guys.
Gift: Flowers
You think you’re saying: These are beautiful and so are you.
She says: I always look forward to getting flowers on Valentines Day.
That means: Wow, a dozen roses once a year, don’t strain yourself!
Tragic ending: You buy her flowers a week later just to prove you can. She no longer expects flowers once a year, now it’s once a week!
Gift: Chocolates
You think you’re saying: These are sweet and so are you.
She says: Oh my goodness, that sure is a lot of chocolates.
That means: Don’t you know I’m on a diet? You clueless ass!
Tragic ending: She eats a single chocolate, merely to be polite, and you finish the rest yourself.
Gift: Lingerie
You think you’re saying: You’re a sex godess and I constantly fantasize about you.
She says: Whoa, these are pretty sexy!
That means: Whoa, these are pretty slutty!
Tragic ending: You bought her the wrong size, body issues ensue.
Gift: Puppy
You think you’re saying: I’m willing to consider being in this longterm.
She says: What a totally cute puppy! Oh my God! I love it! I absolutely love it!
That means: This puppy adequately cute, and yes, I’ll marry you. Shall I give you my ring size now?
Tragic ending: You get laid that night, and you spend the next 12 or so years scooping up tons of dog crap.
Gift: Joke card informing her you have herpes
You think you’re saying: Happy VD! Get it? A little VD on VD?
She says: After stunned silence and maybe a few tears, That’s not really funny jackass!
That means: Congratulations, you’re not my boyfriend anymore!
Tragic ending: You liked this one, oops.
Thank you to the wonderful folks at Playboy Magazine for clearing that up for us.
